All the Things Left Unsaid
by anthemofagirl
Summary: This takes place after iLost My Mind but before iDate Sam and Freddie! How did Sam and Freddie decide to officially get together?


**A/N: This is my first fic EVER so please go easy on me :D But I'd REALLY appreciate any and all feedback to help me improve!  
>Also obligatory disclaimer: I do not claim ownership of these characters or iCarly!<br>**

**All the Things Left Unsaid**

It was an hour past midnight and Sam Puckett lay wide awake staring up at the ceiling of her room at Troubled Waters Mental Institution. Since her mother was not in town to dismiss her she hadn't been allowed to leave with the gang after filming iCarly. A sigh escaped Sam's lips as she stared at the bare walls of the room, so unlike her bedroom back home, with Cuddlefish posters and various other things decorating her walls. She even had those "Seddie" and "Creddie" fan signs that she'd stolen from last year's Webicon, hung up on her wall. It was one of the many reasons she was glad that they always hung out at Carly's place and never at hers. The bare walls here only forced her to think of Freddie, and the events of earlier today, though frankly the images of Freddie on her bedroom wall probably wouldn't have helped keep him out of her mind either way.

_Freddie kissed me_. It was the singular thought that had been running through her mind all evening. This kiss had been different than their previous kisses, and just the thought that she had kissed Freddie more than once made her stomach do somersaults. _But Freddie kissed me_, she reminded herself again. She hadn't surprised him with a kiss of her own, it hadn't been 'just to get it over with' like their first; Freddie had initiated it in every way. "Ugh," she let out in frustration, punching the mattress down with her fists. What did this mean?

A ping disrupted her thoughts and the room was dimly illuminated by the screen of her PearPhone lighting up. She had finally decided to turn it back on, if only to contact her mother and tell her to bail her out of here as soon as she got back. Sam reached over to grab her phone and saw that it was from 'The Nub.'

_Hey. You awake?_

Sam's heart began racing and she quickly scoffed at herself. She was not the type of girl to act this way over a simple text. Sure she'd had boyfriends before and she knew the excitement one got from dating them, but getting nervous over a simple text? And over the Freddork too! It still weirded her out a little. Finally she replied:

_Hey, what's up Fredward?_

Normal enough right?, she thought, hating the fact that she had to monitor her actions twice as carefully now that he was aware that she liked him. It wasn't as if she had hidden her feelings very well before, seeing as Carly and Freddie had noticed something was different, though they thought she was initially in love with Brad. Sam half smiled just at the silliness and confusion of it all before she heard another ping come from her phone.

_Nothing much, couldn't sleep._

_Oh, why not?_

Sam held the PearPhone up to her chest in waiting. She stared up at the ceiling, thinking of the "Seddie" and "Creddie" fan signs she had up in her room. It was an insignificant detail, and she'd never admit it to anyone, but she loved the way the ones of her and Freddie were heart shaped, and the ones with Carly and Freddie were only circles. It also made her wonder how and when the fans had caught on to her crush on Freddie; if a bunch of fans she didn't know were able to see it, why hadn't her friends caught on sooner? Another ping.

_Just thinking._

_About what?_

_You._

Sam bit her lip, trying not to smile because she was sure it didn't mean what she thought it did. Immediately she concluded that he regretted the kiss and wanted to take it back along with everything he'd said. He probably got carried away in the moment and wanted to make himself look good in front of the iCarly fans. She sighed and accepted this as she replied:

_Oh. It's okay Freddie, I understand if you don't feel the same way._

She expected his reply to take a while as he carefully chose which words would be easiest to let her down, but almost instantly he replied:

_What're you talking about? I meant what I said, and did._

_You mean that?_

It was the third time she'd said that to him but she couldn't help that she still felt as if this were just some huge prank on her. Even before Freddie and Carly had found her here at Troubled Waters she had already been trying to convince herself to get over Freddie because he'd never like her and would never want her to be his stupid girlfriend.

_Really Sam._

The blonde girl sighed softly after reading the text. For the first time since Carly, Spencer, Gibby and Freddie had left Troubled Waters after filming iCarly, Sam allowed herself a small smile, hugging her PearPhone close to her. She hadn't replied to Freddie yet, as she was still taking it all in, the fact that Freddie didn't seem to regret his actions before another message came in from him.

_When are you getting out of there?_

Sam exhaled to gather herself up and rid herself of the silly emotions she was feeling, they were foreign to her.

_My mom won't be back until Sunday._

_Aw that's lame. I guess we won't see each other until Monday?_

No, no, no. Sam Puckett should not be feeling this giddy over a text from Fredward Benson at 1 in the morning.

_Yeah I know. Um sorry. _

Sam rolled her eyes and sighed out loud, she was being the worst conversationalist right now and that wasn't like her. She remembered her old boyfriend Jonah, who admittedly hadn't been the best boyfriend ever, what with him hitting on her best friend and all, but she remembered that there was a time she couldn't put down her phone because they were constantly texting. Now she held her PearPhone close to her as if hoping Freddie could feel the small bit of affection she was giving the small device, but she only had her words to rely on now and right now her words were failing her miserably.

_At least you can eat more of those quesadillas. _

Sam chuckled lightly at Freddie's reply, taking note of the fact that he remembered this small detail and had even replied with an emoticon. It was a cute gesture. Cute and Freddie in the same sentence, yup, Sam was still trying to get used to the feelings it gave her.

_Chizz yeah! They're incredible._

_Yeah but you didn't let me taste them!_

_You know mama doesn't share her food. But maybe next time._

_Next time? Are you gonna check yourself in every time we kiss?_

Okay, if Sam Puckett hadn't already been grinning like a fool, she was now. Her stomach twisted into knots inside her, or was it butterflies in her stomach, that was the correct expression right? It took her a little longer than usual to figure out what to reply but she had decided on a question that had been nagging at her since they had filmed iCarly earlier.

_So the kissing, is it gonna become a regular thing then?_

To Sam's unease it took a while for Freddie to respond to her question and she began to fear that she'd asked the wrong thing but was thankfully calmed by the alert of a new message.

_Well yeah, I mean, that is if you're okay with it, if you want to…_

_Only if you want to. Really Freddie, don't feel obligated to do this, it's okay, I'd totally understand you know._

_Relax Sam, I wouldn't have kissed you if I didn't mean it. Okay?_

_Okay._

Sam sighed and rested her phone against her chest, placing her hands behind her head as she stared back up at the ceiling again, still unsure of things with Freddie even though they were talking about it right now. Well could he really blame her for feeling insecure about this all, her feelings for him, his feelings for her? He had been in love with her best friend since she had moved here and made it very clear to everyone. He'd also made his thoughts about Sam very clear from the very beginning. She recalled when they'd first started iCarly how he had even failed to acknowledge her as a girl, while nicknames such as "blonde headed demon" came to mind.

Sam pursed her lips together in guilt, thinking that Freddie's dislike towards her hadn't been without cause, she had given him a reason to dislike her so much, with all the teasing and bullying. But really he was supposed to be a nerd, how dumb could you be to not understand that when a girl picked on you it was because she liked you? At least that's how it had started off. But if Sam was being truthful to herself, she had to admit that part of the reason she picked on the nub so much was because she was hurt, or perhaps jealous was a better word, of the way he fawned over Carly and she couldn't do anything about it. She didn't know any other way to let out her frustration, her pain, than on the guy who caused them in the first place. Another message came in disrupting Sam's thoughts of the past.

_Can I ask you a question?_

_Sure, _she sent back simply, worried once again.

_Why now? I mean, what caused you to just kiss me all of a sudden at the lock in?_

Sam's heart skipped a beat but mostly out of nervousness than excitement. She hadn't expected this question at all. How could she possibly tell Freddie that her feelings for him had reached a boiling point and she simply couldn't take it anymore? It had simply reached a point where she could no longer contain it and she felt compelled to check herself into this mental hospital to sort herself out, without the stupid "Seddie" heart of her and the nubs face staring down at her from her bedroom wall. Shakily Sam carefully replied.

_Well, I guess after that stupid PearPad app said I was in love I couldn't really deny it anymore… _

_So thanks to my genius app, haha._

_No actually Brad deserves the thanks. I mean at first he caused complications when Carls thought I liked him. So I kind of panicked. I was afraid you'd think I really did like him so…_

_Ahh makes sense. So I guess I owe Brad a thanks…_

_Yeah I guess, heh._

Sam longed to ask him what caused him to be sure of this, his feelings for her, if he had any. Surely he had to, if he was willing to do this…whatever it was, right? But her insecurities ate away at her, thinking of the worst possible responses. She didn't know if she should just live in ignorance so as to avoid hearing that she was a last resort, a second choice to the beautiful Carly, or that he was desperate enough to get a girlfriend before his other nubby friends that even she would do. Before Freddie could send another message she picked up her phone and typed out the same question he had asked her.

_Why did you kiss me?_

She was so sure that all her previous speculations were correct so she decided that since she had already accepted this sad reality, it wouldn't hurt to just ask and get it over with. It made the heartbreak less painful if it was done sooner right? As Freddie's message came in Sam closed her eyes momentarily before looking down at the dim screen.

_You're not the only one who had been developing feelings you know._

Sam narrowed her eyes at the message in doubt, trying not to believe it only to later leave her with a bigger disappointment, but before she could question it Freddie had already sent another text.

_Somewhere along the road I started enjoying our bickering because it was fun seeing your reactions, they were cute actually. And even when we fought less it made me see that you're not the worst company in the world._

Sam's heart was beating fast as her blue eyes re-read the message over several times, chewing down on her lower lip to keep her smiling to a minimum.

_Yeah and when did you realize this, when I started helping you and Brad with your app?_

Sarcasm was sometimes hard to interpret through text but Freddie had picked up on it anyway as he quickly responded.

_No Puckett, if you want me to be specific I guess around the time you came to me for help with Missy was when I finally realized it._

Sam hadn't expected that at all. She had not expected him to know exactly when it hit him, and during a moment that happened a while ago too. Another message from Freddie came in and Sam immediately looked down at her phone.

_I mean that was when I actually realized it, that I liked you, but I can't tell you when the feelings actually started forming._

Sam chuckled at Freddie's need to clarify himself, as if his first answer hadn't been good enough for her when she had already been hugging her phone as she finally accepted that this wasn't some sick joke to get back at her. She liked Freddie and Freddie liked her back. The thought sent a fresh wave of butterflies fluttering in her stomach and she replied:

_Okay I believe you Fredwad._

Her reply was simple and short but right now she was definitely squirming happily in her bed, the room not looking as gloomy as it had an hour ago. The blonde looked down at her phone again to double check the time and it was already 2 AM and she hadn't even noticed that an hour had passed simply texting Freddie and waiting for his replies. Then the background image of her phone caused a huge weight to drop in her stomach and instantly crush all those butterflies –Carly.

_Hey Freddie…what about Carly?_

_What about her?_

_Well you know, do you still love her?_

The rapid mood swing she had just experienced was making her stomach uneasy and she had to sit up in bed to ease her nerves. She twirled her phone slowly in her hands, tracing the shape of the pear, just to keep herself occupied as she waited with baited breath and a rapid heartbeat for Freddie's response. The ping indicating his reply had come made her heart skip a beat and begin drumming faster against her ribcage. The blonde fumbled with her phone as she turned it upward to read it.

_I think I made my feelings pretty clear today, don't you think? _

Sam exhaled nodding her head slowly in agreement with Freddie even though he couldn't see her. She looked out the window, the moonlight spilling in and couldn't help but wonder what Carly thought about all this. Then she remembered her best friend had been in this room earlier shouting "Sam loves Freddie" from out the same window she was now looking out of.

Another reply from Freddie:

_To be clear, I never "loved" Carly. It was just an adolescent crush I harbored for so long. After we broke up I realized that being with her wasn't all I thought it was going to be. And that's done, okay?_

Sam looked down at her phone's screen biting her lip trying to process this all through her head. She had taken a huge risk putting herself out there, like Freddie had expressed before she'd cut him off with a kiss. And now here Freddie was, being completely open and honest with her, at least she hoped he was being honest. She looked down at his 'okay?' that completed his text, his reassurance and she imagined him saying the words in his soothing voice rather than texting it. Immediately her lips curled up into a smile. She wished she could call him right now, and not just to decipher his tone of voice or if the pauses in his speech held a hidden message, but just to hear his voice –but she knew at this late hour he probably couldn't because of his nutty whack job of a mom.

_Okay_, she wrote back simply, settling for communication through text, as it had been working so far. The elephant in the room, well in her room at least, had been addressed and Sam was feeling a lot better than she was an hour ago. Her stomach was beginning to settle down finally and she lay back down on the bed, making herself comfortable, her phone never leaving her hand.

_Well, I should be going to bed now…_

_Yeah, me too._

_Tell me when your mom picks you up tomorrow, yeah?_

_Okay Frednub._

_Good night, Princess Puckett._

_Night._

After Sam had said good night to Freddie she had admittedly scrolled back up to re-read their entire conversation and she chuckled at herself and how blissfully happy she was feeling. Right before she rolled over and put her phone back on her night stand she had made sure to go to her contacts and change Freddie's name from 'The Nub' to 'My Nub.'

Sunday had been pretty uneventful. Sam had hung around in the lobby of Troubled Waters with Caleb all day as she waited for her mom to pick her up. Finally at around 5 PM she was discharged and allowed to go home. Her mom was currently harping on her, claiming she was insane for checking herself into an institution in the first place, making sure to throw in Melanie comparisons frequently. But Samantha Puckett hardly noticed as her mother went on and on, because she was deep in conversation via text with Fredward Benson.

She was desperate to meet him but didn't want to ask, and was a bit disappointed when Freddie mentioned having to do certain unpleasant activities with his mom all night. Sam laughed out loud as she read the text and her mother looked over at her from the driver's seat. "What's with you, suddenly you seem like Sunshine Barbie."

"Huh?" Sam said, finally looking up from her PearPhone. "Oh nothing," she scoffed and rolled her eyes, a usual response.

"Ah whatever, what did you wanna eat for dinner?" Pam asked.

"Oh I don't know, I've been craving spaghetti lately…" Sam said absent-mindedly as she once again returned her gaze to her phone, her thumbs rapidly texting away, the unmistakable grin on her face as she did so. She did manage to add, "But I don't want you making it, that would just ruin spaghetti for me forever. Let's order it from somewhere and take it to go."

Monday morning rolled around and Sam was in a foul mood. Not only was she not a morning person, but her stomach was doing that weird twisty thing with butterflies in it again and she was actually worrying over what to wear to school; this was so not like her. Usually she just rolled out of bed, showered, and threw on anything. Now she felt so self-conscious about everything and had even contemplated going into Melanie's room to find something to wear before shuttering at the thought once she'd fully processed her idea

Ultimately she had opted for a simple striped shirt and jeans, her usual, and just before leaving her house she glanced up at the "Seddie" fan sign on her wall, giving her more butterflies than before. Her mom honked in impatience and Sam ran out, getting in the driver's seat.

"What's up with you, you're usually the one honking at me to hurry up," her mother questioned as she backed out of the driveway.

"Nothing I just woke up late that's all," Sam lied, eating some bacon as her breakfast to go.

"No I heard you scurrying around this morning like a maniac," her mom pointed out. "What's up with you lately, you got a boyfriend or something?" Pam cackled, not noticing the look of shock and disgust on her daughter's face.

"What? No uhh…" Sam tried covering up miserably, though thankfully her mother didn't seem to care enough to notice that Sam was flustered over the question. Truth was she didn't know if Freddie was considered her boyfriend now after him kissing her on Friday and the two texting all through the weekend.

Finally they arrived at Ridgeway and Sam immediately got out of the car, not looking back in case her mom said or did anything embarrassing and entered the school. The blonde couldn't help but take a deep breath out of nervousness, and walked to her locker, glad to see that Freddie or Carly weren't there yet. She was feeling uncomfortable and uneasy, constantly looking over her shoulder in wait for the two brunettes she always hung around with. She didn't know how to act right now and it was bugging her! With her locker open she began taking out some of her books and putting them in her backpack when Carly arrived.

"Hey Sam!" her best friend chirped happily as she too opened up her locker.

"Hey Carls," Sam said forcing a smile that seemed almost like a grimace. Sam's brain was in overdrive as she wondered if Carly knew that she and Freddie were a 'thing' or whatever they were. Even she wasn't sure yet.

"Where's Freddie?"

"What? I don't know, why should I know?" Sam immediately responded with a nervous laugh.

"Because you too are all smooshy now, aren't you?" Carly said with a smirk on her face, though it turned into a genuine smile. Her tone of voice at the end of her question sounded as if she was asking Sam for confirmation but she refused to answer her. "I totally knew this would happen," the web show host said calmly, more to herself than to Sam, as she turned back to her locker to put a few things away.

"What? What do you mean you knew—" Sam stopped once she saw Freddie approaching. The blonde immediately pretended to busy herself with her books and her backpack, which was a dumb decoy since she rarely ever cared about that stuff.

"Hey guys," he greeted the two of them with a grin.

"Hey," both Carly and Sam said; Carly in her normal cheery tone, and Sam in a rather reluctant way, though it was only because she was uneasy.

Carly and Freddie exchanged knowing looks and Carly shook her head smiling. "Well I've gotta go find Gibby and ask him something or other," she said, making up something she clearly didn't need to do, and took off leaving Sam and Freddie at the lockers alone.

"Hey," Freddie said again with a small smirk at Sam.

Sam subtly exhaled and looked up at him. "Hey," she said, a lot friendlier than she had a moment ago. Almost as soon as she had looked up into Freddie's eyes she found herself looking back down at her backpack in her hands. She zipped it up and prayed that her beating heart couldn't be heard by Freddie and give away her nerves. She slung her backpack over her shoulder, closed her locker and said, "I think I have to go help Carly with Gibby. I need to go beat him up or something."

No sooner had she taken a few steps then Freddie grabbed her hand. "Hey wait," he said softly, pulling her back. "What's wrong, you don't want to do this anymore?" he asked her, his eyes full of worry.

She looked up at him and bit down on her lip. "No it's just—" she began, trying to find the words to say. She looked around them, at their classmates passing them by and looked back at him. "This is insane! This weekend it was fun to pretend that this could work but that was only because we were bound by our phones and nothing else. We're in school now and everyone would see us and know that we were together and think it's weird, and it's just…this is insane! Right?" she looked up at him waiting for him to agree with her but hoping with all her might that he wouldn't.

Freddie laughed and said, "Sam, the millions of viewers on iCarly saw me kiss you, and I think the student body of Ridgeway is part of those millions," he chuckled, his voice calm with reassurance. "Besides I said we were both insane, remember?" With his hand still wrapped around hers after he had pulled her back, he carefully rearranged it so that their fingers were now interlocked. "So what do you say Sam Puckett, do you want to be my 'stupid girlfriend'?" he teased her lightly.

Sam scoffed and punched Freddie's arm with her free hand but nodded her head yes slowly. She wrinkled her nose playfully, as if the thought of being Freddie's girlfriend disgusted her, when it fact she felt it made her the happiest person at Ridgeway right now.

"C'mon let's go," she said, hearing the bell ring for class and the students in the hallway begin running off to their classes. Before she moved however, Freddie leaned down to kiss her. Once they broke away she looked up at him, slightly stunned, but smiled faintly once she saw the huge grin on his face.

"Okay, now I'm ready to go," he said, and he led her by the hand to their class.


End file.
